You do realize that the decisions that you are making now are due to the choked up resentment that is spilling over. You are deliberately screwing things up on purpose because you want yourself to fail. You want to feel the sadness because you’re so used the depression. You are forceful and impulsive. You choose to find fault over the craziest things on purpose because you want to fail. Why do you want to fail? Why do you keep shooting yourself in the fucking foot again and again because of a cold hearted bitch who is long gone? Your defense mechanism is so flawed that it’s just pathetic and ridiculous. You want to fail. I will say it again. You want to fail because you deliberately want to feel the pain and the sadness because you think it makes you feel alive. But no. You deserve more than this. Why did you go fuck things up when you finally found someone who had the potential to be something special, she could have been great for you. And dude let’s face it. Even if she really did liked you. You’d still choose to fuck it up because you’re crazy. So enough with this. Get your shit together and stop fucking yourself up.
I really don’t give a fuck about repercussions anymore.
This dimension and the next, the living and the dead are waving to the corpse. Everybody cares. Everybody cares. I say love exists, and this is what it is. I’m polluted by my blood so help me cut it out and rinse it down the drain. Everybody cares. Everybody cares. They say love exists, but what happened to it?
Everybody’s wanting to see
Wanting to see it come alive
Pour the ashes into the cup
Mix with wine
Here’s to death, drink up
The world used to be silent
Now it has too many voices
And the noises are constant distraction
They multiply, intensify
They will divert your attention to what’s convenient
And forget to tell you about yourself
We live in an age of many stimulations
If you are focused, you are harder to reach
If you are distracted, you are available
You are distracted, you are available
You want flattery
Always looking to where it’s at
You want to take part in everything
And everything to be a part of you
Your head is spinning faster at the end of your spine
Until you have no face at all
And yet if the world would shut up, even for a while
Perhaps we will start hearing the distant rhythm of an angry young tune
And recompose ourselves
Perhaps having deconstructed everything
We should be thinking about putting everything back together
Sooner or later, this facade is gonna be broken apart.
Everyone seems to be at the stage of settling down.
Whilst here I am, wasting my time, burning away my weekends with nothingness.
Where did I go wrong?
I feel so depressed.
Life is so mundane.